A Regal Visit (East Coast Edition)

As many of you already know, Queen Angela (also answering to “Mum”) graced us with her presence, touching down in Sydney in early Feb for a month-long thrill ride with her two feral tour guides (sorry Mum).

To ease her in, we began with a short ferry ride over to Manly for a relaxing beach day, where it promptly began raining. A swift pivot saw us instead opening a bottle of wine and enjoying the far superior view: everyone else sprinting for cover.

Day two raised the stakes slightly with the Bondi to Coogee Coastal Walk. We took in the stunning views, caught up on Jersey gossip, and sweated off layers of suncream until we sizzled in the Australian UV. Arriving in Coogee, we rewarded ourselves with a refreshing sea swim (Mum’s first of the year). Oh, and of course, an ice-cream.

To top off a perfect day, we headed up to the 36th floor of the Shangri-La Hotel for cocktails, marvelling at the sunbeams as they broke through the clouds over distant cities, and stepping on the toes of the poor people who were sat in the best seat of the house, in pursuit of the ‘perfect tourist photo’. We finished the evening with a fantastic Italian dinner in The Rocks, where we admired the iconic Sydney Opera House from yet-another-angle.

Now, for those unfamiliar with the tradition that is my semi-annual attempt to shorten my mother’s lifespan, I like to test the limits of how far she’ll let me push things before I’m written out of the will. For context, this is a woman who is profoundly afraid of bodies of water, animals (with almost no exceptions), heights, outdoor activities (unless they involve wine), indoor activities (unless they involve wine), and being more than 100 metres from the nearest toilet (and no, I’m not exaggerating). The list, sadly, goes on.

Historically, I’ve eased her in with what I consider “light” activities (white water rafting, horseback riding, etc) before advancing to more “character-building” experiences, like abseiling and paragliding.

So naturally it only felt right that, while she was still disoriented from jet lag and unable to make sound decisions, I marched her straight up the Sydney Harbour Bridge…

To keep myself in her good books, I followed this with a restorative glass of bubbles on the Opera House steps, before rounding off the day with a beautiful Lebanese dinner at Sahtein - a must-visit.

You can probably guess which part of the day Mum enjoyed most.

Swiftly moving on, we flew to the GC & reunited with Jack & Bruno (the Blue Brute) who carted us off to Byron Bay for a few days of live music, cocktails, beach lounging, and dolphin & turtle sight-seeing. Capped off with a rowdy night at the infamous Piano-dualing bar, which rewarded us with sore throats and headaches the next day.

Making our way back up the coast, we landed in Surfers Paradise, where we spent two days “relaxing” beachside (by which I mean being aggressively churned by the washing-machine-like tide) and dining at our favourite lookout, the Burleigh Pavilion.

A real highlight of the East Coast was our evening stay at a quaint little cabin in the Hinterlands, overlooking Hang-gliders lookout. Armed with a glass of wine in hand (and, crucially, back-up wine), a packet of crisps, and a generously interpreted “light” charcuterie spread, Mum & I watched the rain clouds roll in over the mountain-scape, battling with the sunshine and creating a scene that would put the likes of Rothko & Turner to shame. Settled in our perch, we stuffed our faces, listened to the sounds of nature, and got suitably tipsy.

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With only a short stay in Brisbane we dedicated ourselves primarily to recovery (I keep telling you, it’s exhausting this life). That said, we did manage cocktails at The Star Brisbane and dragged ourselves onto a pre-booked river cruise, which proved to be rather a pleasant experience.

From Brisbane, we continued North to Hervey Bay in preparation for our trip to K’gari (Fraser Island). For those unfamiliar, K’gari is a World Heritage-listed site renowned for its extraordinary biodiversity, and home to the purest strain of dingoes on Australia’s East Coast (not wolves, though they are closely related).

We spent three days exploring the island, swimming in impressively clear waters, and taking in the most extravagant stargazing of our lives. (Read about our K’gari experience here).

Back on the mainland, we made our way to our final East Coast stop: Noosa.

With only a handful of hours to spare, we committed to making the most of it - starting with an early-morning kangaroo hunt (the wholesome kind). We then tackled the Noosa National Park trail, soaking up the views and briefly considering abandoning all responsibilities to live there indefinitely.

For our final East Coast act, we enjoyed lunch overlooking the ocean at the Noosa Surf Club before making our way to Brisbane Airport to begin the next chapter of our trip: the West Coast.